


In His Image

by roryfreisthler



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Brainwashing, Dubious Consent, Extramarital Affairs, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Gen, Stockholm Syndrome, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transgender Handmaiden, Transitioning, Wife/Handmaiden Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 15:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryfreisthler/pseuds/roryfreisthler
Summary: What happened that caused Mrs. O'Conner to be sent to the Colonies. Alternatively, the story of a transgender Handmaiden.





	In His Image

In the eyes of the Republic of Gilead, I’m the worst kind of gender traitor. This I observe as Commander O’Conner slams into me, into the part of me that shouldn’t be there, and Mrs. O’Conner holds onto my wrists as if for dear life. 

Because of my deviance, I was set to be sent to Jezebel’s, apparently a vestige of the old times - a whorehouse. But Aunt Lydia insisted as loudly as she could that despite my corruption, my fertility was a gift that should not be wasted. So here I am. A Handmaid. 

I’m not sure if I’m grateful. I’m not sure if I’m grateful I’m alive  _ at all.  _ Having “sex” - more like being raped - by a man is my worst nightmare. At least at Jezebel’s, I wouldn’t have been expected to carry the baby of one.

When the ceremony is over, the house staff and Commander O’Conner leave, leaving me still lying between the legs of Mrs. O’Conner. I expect her to look at me with contempt, for being able to do what she cannot. But instead she looks at me with concern. “You looked uncomfortable, Ofgabriel. Are you alright?”

“As alright as can be expected, Mrs. O’Conner,” I answer obediently. 

“Call me Frida,” she corrects me, but it’s not sharp. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but a side effect of the… treatment you were undergoing prior to Gilead is vaginal atrophy, is it not?”

I’m shocked by her mention of my “treatment”. Going on testosterone and transitioning to the other sex is something that no one has mentioned since the Red Center, instead speaking in euphemisms. Furthermore, her wording suggests that… no, she can’t possibly  _ respect  _ the fact that transition is a treatment for gender dysphoria, or that being trans is a medical condition. “Yes, it is.”

“I can get some estrogen cream for you, if you think it would help. To make the monthly ceremony more comfortable,” she tells me.

“Isn’t that illegal?” I ask, somehow feeling concern for this woman who let her husband rape me. But hey, at least she wants the rape to be  _ comfortable  _ next time. I suppose I wouldn’t say no to that.

She finally removes her hands from my wrists, indicating for me to sit up and face her. “It is, technically. But we wives can get away with quite a bit. And, to be honest, most of the doctors in this society know nothing about actual science. If I ask for something containing estrogen, they’ll assume it’s so that I’m making you more feminine and pleasing to my husband’s eye. They might not even know that much.”

“And you’re not doing this to make me more pleasing for the Commander?” I ask. I expect her to slap me, but she doesn’t. 

Instead, she gives me a wry smile. “I suppose that is also a benefit.”


End file.
